KEEPING MY AMBITIOUS READERS PROTECTED
I often wonder what qualities, what “clues”—subtle or not—the public in general looks for in a building or repair contractor, a potential hireling. A friend of ours was getting estimates for a new deck in the spring, and I was present when the first estimator arrived, in possibly the biggest pickup truck I’ve ever seen ... brand new, gleaming red, lots of chrome and other optional amenities.
All right, I thought, this character has, what?—a $38,000 showcase steed to pay for? How’s he going to pay for it? Not by deducting time for his crew’s occasionally extended breaks, or for shaving time for additional store runs for materials he should’ve largely anticipated and put to his work site all in one run or two. My initial impression of this guy was that he was a flashy fellow; he thinks he’s “big.” He thinks the world is his oyster. He thinks his customers are oysters. Crack them open, reap the pearls.
This contractor’s free use of the standard swear words in the company of this friend and me was his second strike. The friend and I look like “regular guys,” it might be said, a little on the scruffy side, with beards, kind of longish hair in my case, a “camo” jacket likely in the friend’s case, dirtied jeans for the both of us. I’m not one to have extricated “low” words from my vocabulary ... in fact I’ve suspected at times that I’m an unknowing sufferer of Tourette’s Syndrome. But when in person some guy who’s a complete stranger, especially some guy who’s wanting to earn a lot of money for his labors through a friend of mine, freely employs “foul” language to imply that he’s a “regular guy,” too, to ingratiate his captive audience, I say to hell with him. The friend and I are incidentally considerably older than the prospective, cussing contractor. Had there been any cussing to be done, it should have been performed by the gnarled elders, not by some young, puffed-up hotshot driving a new truck the size of a flour mill.
The third warning sign was the young man’s utter lack of estimation sense. You can’t be in business for yourself without being able to estimate for your customers what any given project will cost, plus or minus 10%. DUH. This fancy-pickuped meatball (a stroke waiting to happen, by the way; the young man was obviously overfond of his quarter-pound burgers) informed my friend that the entire job would have to be billed “T&M” (time and materials). Oh, yeah? Nice work if you can get it.
I urged the friend to drop this dweeb like a hot potato, and he did, but he would’ve done so without my influence. Enough people have been impressed by this contractor’s apparent success and his boisterousness that the guy is doing well, if for appearances only on credit. I hate to see that.
Give more of an ear and an eye to a guy or gal contractor who is licensed; who will provide you an exacting, written, free estimate; who looks like he or she is a biker and who transports his or her materials in a rusting Chevy S-10. The finest local finish carpenter I know in town looks like he’s a Hell’s Angel, and he would take advantage of no one.
“Clean-cut” contractors may be fine, too, but don’t let looks deceive you. Don’t call anyone cold. Get referrals from acquaintances, friends and family. Get three estimates for your work, and don’t necessarily go with the lowest one. Go with your gut. A little saying in my trade is, “Trust your eye, not your level.” For your hiring purposes make that, Trust your heart and noggin, not a prospective contractor’s “low, low (if you act now!)” effusions. Suffer not even 30 seconds of high pressure and, for crying out loud, don’t ever shell out any money up front.
A couple of remarks by prospective contractors that you should consider wholly unacceptable:
“Your daughter (son, wife, father, mother, llama) is very attractive!”
“Will my methamphetamine and heroin use here be OK, so long as it is out-of-doors?”
“Check out my vintage 1930s hip flask!”
I am endeavoring to keep readers protected from bad contractors, and hope you all appreciate it.
I often wonder what qualities, what “clues”—subtle or not—the public in general looks for in a building or repair contractor, a potential hireling. A friend of ours was getting estimates for a new deck in the spring, and I was present when the first estimator arrived, in possibly the biggest pickup truck I’ve ever seen ... brand new, gleaming red, lots of chrome and other optional amenities.
All right, I thought, this character has, what?—a $38,000 showcase steed to pay for? How’s he going to pay for it? Not by deducting time for his crew’s occasionally extended breaks, or for shaving time for additional store runs for materials he should’ve largely anticipated and put to his work site all in one run or two. My initial impression of this guy was that he was a flashy fellow; he thinks he’s “big.” He thinks the world is his oyster. He thinks his customers are oysters. Crack them open, reap the pearls.
This contractor’s free use of the standard swear words in the company of this friend and me was his second strike. The friend and I look like “regular guys,” it might be said, a little on the scruffy side, with beards, kind of longish hair in my case, a “camo” jacket likely in the friend’s case, dirtied jeans for the both of us. I’m not one to have extricated “low” words from my vocabulary ... in fact I’ve suspected at times that I’m an unknowing sufferer of Tourette’s Syndrome. But when in person some guy who’s a complete stranger, especially some guy who’s wanting to earn a lot of money for his labors through a friend of mine, freely employs “foul” language to imply that he’s a “regular guy,” too, to ingratiate his captive audience, I say to hell with him. The friend and I are incidentally considerably older than the prospective, cussing contractor. Had there been any cussing to be done, it should have been performed by the gnarled elders, not by some young, puffed-up hotshot driving a new truck the size of a flour mill.
The third warning sign was the young man’s utter lack of estimation sense. You can’t be in business for yourself without being able to estimate for your customers what any given project will cost, plus or minus 10%. DUH. This fancy-pickuped meatball (a stroke waiting to happen, by the way; the young man was obviously overfond of his quarter-pound burgers) informed my friend that the entire job would have to be billed “T&M” (time and materials). Oh, yeah? Nice work if you can get it.
I urged the friend to drop this dweeb like a hot potato, and he did, but he would’ve done so without my influence. Enough people have been impressed by this contractor’s apparent success and his boisterousness that the guy is doing well, if for appearances only on credit. I hate to see that.
Give more of an ear and an eye to a guy or gal contractor who is licensed; who will provide you an exacting, written, free estimate; who looks like he or she is a biker and who transports his or her materials in a rusting Chevy S-10. The finest local finish carpenter I know in town looks like he’s a Hell’s Angel, and he would take advantage of no one.
“Clean-cut” contractors may be fine, too, but don’t let looks deceive you. Don’t call anyone cold. Get referrals from acquaintances, friends and family. Get three estimates for your work, and don’t necessarily go with the lowest one. Go with your gut. A little saying in my trade is, “Trust your eye, not your level.” For your hiring purposes make that, Trust your heart and noggin, not a prospective contractor’s “low, low (if you act now!)” effusions. Suffer not even 30 seconds of high pressure and, for crying out loud, don’t ever shell out any money up front.
A couple of remarks by prospective contractors that you should consider wholly unacceptable:
“Your daughter (son, wife, father, mother, llama) is very attractive!”
“Will my methamphetamine and heroin use here be OK, so long as it is out-of-doors?”
“Check out my vintage 1930s hip flask!”
I am endeavoring to keep readers protected from bad contractors, and hope you all appreciate it.